FEATURES...UGLY, FAT, SKINNY, ETC. He's the kind of fella that girls dream about at night -- it's better than seeing him in the light. Looks aren't everything; in her case, they aren't anything. He has a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy. There's only one trouble with his face-- it shows! He should join the Ku Klux Klan -- he would look a lot better with a hood over his head. She's not exactly bad looking. There's just one little blemish between her ears-- her face. She's had her face lifted so many times, she talks through her nose. She looks like a million -- every year of it. He has so many chins, you can't be sure of which one he's going to talk out of next. Even her double chin has a double chin. He has a face like a flower-- a cauliflower. He has such a big mouth, he can sing a duet all by himself. He goes to the dentist twice a year. Once for every tooth. He has a Roman nose. It roams all over his face. His teeth are like the Ten Commandments-- all broken. His teeth are his own-- he just made the last payment on them. She has so many wrinkles, she has to screw her hat on. He has wavy hair-- it's waving goodbye. Barbers don't charge him for cutting his hair-- they charge him for searching for it! He has a nice head on his shoulders. But it would look better on a neck! He takes vitamins A, B, C, D, E, F, and G, and still looks like H. He has a big heart, and a stomach to match. He's so fat, when he takes a shower his feet don't get wet! She's a real Ooomph girl. When she sits on a sofa, it goes Ooomph! She's so ugly, at a Christmas party they hung her and kissed the mistltoe! She's a light eater. As soon as it gets light, she starts eating. When she walked down the aisle with her groom, they had to walk single file.
SUPERFREAKS ON ANGEL DUST!!!