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Insults 101
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INSULT JOKES: Features, ugly, skinny, fat, funny looking, etc.

He's the kind of fella that girls dream about at night -- it's better than seeing him in the light.

Looks aren't everything; in her case, they aren't anything.

He has a very sympathetic face. It has everyone's sympathy.

There's only one trouble with his face-- it shows!

He should join the Ku Klux Klan -- he would look a lot better with a hood over his head.

She's not exactly bad looking. There's just one little blemish between her ears-- her face.

She's had her face lifted so many times, she talks through her nose.

She looks like a million -- every year of it.

He has so many chins, you can't be sure of which one he's going to talk out of next.

Even her double chin has a double chin.

He has a face like a flower-- a cauliflower.

He has such a big mouth, he can sing a duet all by himself.

He goes to the dentist twice a year. Once for every tooth.

He has a Roman nose. It roams all over his face.

His teeth are like the Ten Commandments-- all broken.

His teeth are his own-- he just made the last payment on them.

She has so many wrinkles, she has to screw her hat on.

He has wavy hair-- it's waving goodbye.

Barbers don't charge him for cutting his hair-- they charge him for searching for it!

He has a nice head on his shoulders. But it would look better on a neck!

He takes vitamins A, B, C, D, E, F, and G, and still looks like H.

He has a big heart, and a stomach to match.

He's so fat, when he takes a shower his feet don't get wet!

She's a real Ooomph girl. When she sits on a sofa, it goes Ooomph!

She's so ugly, at a Christmas party they hung her and kissed the mistletoe!

She's a light eater. As soon as it gets light, she starts eating.

When she walked down the aisle with her groom, they had to walk single file.