Top Ten Sexiest Women of All Time (according to Paul Diamond Blow)
The Sexiest of the Sexy Hot...
by Paul Diamond Blow
Mirror, mirror, on the wall, who are the sexiest women of them all? Of all time, that is. After much deliberation and fantasizing I have come up with my top ten list. All the women on my list are well known celebrities, because although there are millions of sexy women on this planet at any given moment, a list of unknown names would be of little interest to most people; that is why to make it on my list a women has to be more than just sexy, she’s got to be a well known celebrity of some sort. For the record, I did not include any super models, porn stars, or other women who’s only claim to being sexy is just their good looks. The women on my list are more than just sex symbols; they’ve got talent, pizzaz, and they are the type of women that young boys and grown men drool over, dream about, and cream their jeans over. And when I say young boys and grown men, I’m including myself—these are the women I’ve drooled over throughout the years. Yes, the sexiest of the sexy hot women of all time, right here listed in reverse orderÖ
Yes, that’s right, I am starting my list off with Elvira, Mistress of the Dark! Real name: Cassandra Peterson, host of Elvira’s Movie Macabre back in the ’80s. I’ve always been partial to black haired, gothy women with large bosoms wearing low-cut clothing, and Elvira was one of the sexiest—nay, the sexiest black haired, gothy, large bosomed woman of all time. Elvira had thousands and thousands of young lads glued to the TV set enduring terrible, old, grade-B horror movies just to get a chance to gawk at Elvira in between commercials and drool at her sexiness. And yes, even though she wore a black wig, what the heck—lots of women wear wigs, and if it looks good, it looks good! Cassandra Peterson, by the way, once auditioned for the part of Ginger in the third Gilligan’s Island movie back in 1981, which leads right into my next sexiest woman of all timeÖ
9) Tina Louise
Tina Louise played the part of sexy movie star Ginger on the Gilligan’s Island TV series from 1964 to 1967 (a part that was turned down by one of my other sexy women on this list, by the way). You could say that Tina Louise is my token redhead on this list, but as a young lad watching Gillgan’s Island reruns I was captivated by her sexiness. I mean, sure—Mary Anne was sexy too, in a girl-next-door kind of way, but Ginger/Tina Louise made me and millions of others melt, wishing we too could be trapped on a desert island with her. An especially hot moment was when she sang “Let Me Entertain You” on an episode. Oh yeah, baby, yeah! Playing the role of Ginger made Tina Louis a top sex symbol of the ’60s–’70s and puts her on my sexiest women of all time list.
8) Connie Chung
That is correct: Connie Chung, the newscaster, is one of the sexiest of all time women! While she is not nearly as sexy as some of my other list members, let’s face it—Connie Chung is a hot woman and a newscaster with brains as well as beauty, and she made the news sexy, a lot sexier than Walter Cronkite ever did. A lot of men tuned in to the news just to see her sexiness ever since the 1970s, and as a young lad Connie Chung was my first official case of Yellow Fever. Indeed, Connie Chung set the bar high for sexy Asian newscasters worldwide.
7) Pamela Anderson
A sexiest women of all time list would be a sham without Pamela Anderson. To say that Pamela Anderson is not sexy is like saying an orange is green. Pamela first turned on the world with her sexy blonde hair and super sexy bust in the TV series Baywatch, and I guarantee she inspired more wet dreams than David Hasselhof ever did! Sure, she bleached her hair blonde and had her breasts surgically enhanced, but Pamela Anderson is hot, hot, hot, and the fact that she has married or dated rockers such as Tommy Lee, Brett Michaels, and Kid Rock gives her extra points for being a “sexy rocker babe.” Hmmm, actually she’s gone out with some real losers, but still, Pamela Anderson is a legitimate sex symbol, a sexy hot rocker babe, and she makes it on my list at number seven.
Cleopatra, the Queen of Egypt. Need I say more? We really don’t know exactly what Cleopatra looked like, in fact her likeness as captured on ancient coins and busts did not look all that sexy, but let’s face it—Cleopatra is still a legitimate sex symbol of the highest caliber. She was an Egyptian Pharoah, a woman of power, and she had an affair with none other than Julius Caesar. Cleopatra has been a sex symbol for over 2000 years and continues to be in modern times, based on depictions of her as a totally hot babe by Liz Taylor and other actresses in the movies and television. Plus, the Cleopatra costume is one of the sexiest Halloween costumes sold in modern times. And let’s face it, what man would not want to be a slave to sexy Cleopatra?
5) Farrah Fawcett-Majors
Farrah Fawcett-Majors turned on the nation in the 1970s on the Charlie’s Angels TV series, and her famous poster (where she posed coyly in a red bathing suit) graced the walls of millions of young boys and grown men and inspired more wet dreams than puberty ever did. I mean, heck, you could totally see her nipples on that poster! Probably the sexiest thing about Farrah—besides her hot body—was her hairstyle which became all the rage in the ’70s, a hairstyle I wish women still wore today. Farrah indeed had the sexiest hair of all time. Farrah Fawcett also was once married to actor Lee Majors, the Six Million Dollar Man, and that makes her even more hot, in my book.
4) Jennifer Tilly
Jennifer Tilly may be the least known of all my sexiest women of all time, but she is still a very popular actress who has starred in such flicks as The Fabulous Baker Boys, Bound (a very hot movie), Seed of Chucky, and many others in which she usually plays the part of a sex kitten. Jennifer Tilly is probably the sexiest brunette sex kitten of all time with her ultra-cute face and her busty hot bod, but what makes her even sexier is her totally sexy hot, squeaky voice: a voice that makes me and millions of other men cream our jeans instantly. In more recent times Jennifer Tilly has been a professional poker player and in 2005 won the third World Poker Tour Ladies Invitational Tournament, making her not only one of the sexiest women of all time, but also the sexiest poker player of all time.
3) Betty Boop
Yes, that is correct: Betty Boop, the cartoon character, is my number three sexiest woman of all time! Why? Just look at her with her cute, adorable face, her short, black flapper hair, her full figure, her sexy little outfitÖ Yowza! What makes Betty Boop even sexier is her sensual, squeaky little voice—a voice that makes grown men melt like ice cream on a hot tin roof. Betty Boop was the world’s first cartoon character that really represented a sexually mature woman, and in fact she was so sexy that when the Production Code guidelines for the movie industry came along in 1933, Betty Boop was transformed from the sexy flapper/bimbo to a more conservatively dressed career girl, with long skirts and dresses replacing her signature red miniskirts. Being a cartoon character, Betty Boop will never age, and even though she is over 90 years old she still continues to be a top sex symbol in popular culture and she makes it on my list.
2) Jayne Mansfield
Look up “blonde bombshell” in the dictionary and it will have a picture of Jayne Mansfield, or it should! Jayne Mansfield is indeed a classic 1950s blonde bombshell, pinup-girl-turned-Hollywood-actress and a Playboy Magazine Playmate of the Month. Jayne Mansfield, while not having a great or long movie career, is famous—or infamous perhaps—for not only her ravishing looks and fabulous blonde hair, but mainly for her bosoms which she proudly put on display at every chance for publicity purposes. Jayne Mansfield actually turned down the role of Ginger in the Gilligan’s Island TV series, making her the third woman on my list to be connected to the show. Jayne Mansfield died in an auto accident at the age of 34, and thus will always be remembered as a young, blonde bombshell. Jayne’s only real competition for being the hottest bombshell of her era and the sexiest woman of all time is another classic blonde bombshell of the 1950s, the one and only...
1) Marilyn Monroe
Marilyn Monroe may well be the world’s most beautiful, lusted after, and sexiest woman ever. To deny this, one would have to be in denial of their own sexuality. A former Playboy Magazine model, Hollywood movie star, and lover to such men as JFK and Joe DiMaggio, Marilyn Monroe—like Jayne Mansfield—was a classic blonde bombshell from the 1950s with a killer hot body, fabulous blonde hair, and an almost innocent (NOT!) sexuality that turned on the world in the 1950s and still continues to turn on the world even today, thanks to her images being everywhere and on everything from calendars, books, prints, T-shirts, posters, coffee mugs—you name it, she’s on it! Yes indeed, Marilyn Monroe is the ultimate sex kitten and a cultural icon. Not only was she a stunning beauty, but Marilyn Monroe also had talent and class—traits that many modern day female sex symbols lack. Marilyn Monroe died at the young age of 36 in 1962, ensuring that she also will forever be remembered as a young, sexy hot babe, the number one sex symbol of all time, probably the most famous woman of the twentieth century, and the sexiest woman of all time according to me, Paul Diamond Blow.
Enjoy this article? Buy Paul Diamond Blow's new book Tales From Outer Space